Trigger Happy

Staring into the mirror of the bathroom of the stinking, yellow stained motel room, Jane examines her face. She knows each pore, and soft, fuzzy hair that covers her delicate face holds some hopeful clue as to who she is. The man in the hotel room, the lover leaving notes of warning everywhere she goes, all of it seemingly familiar, and none of it coming to her easily. She watches the facial tics as they erupt, praying the next one would hit a switch in her brain, turning her on, letting her know what this all is. The wall paper behind her, only a bric-a-brac of patterns and color, all of it grays, dull and unremarkable, reminded her of the world outside. Behind it, something is covered and hidden, ugly and broken. Looking as her face, she had the same desperate feeling. She stands there, staring, like a seer waiting to learn what the future has to bring. Frustrated and tired, she sighs and notices the unconscious fidgeting of her fingers against the plaster sink, slick and smooth, coupled with the cold, familiar metal of the gun. She watches, fascinated with the way her fingers caress the trigger softly, careful not to press too hard. She barely understands the idea of too hard, but her body knows. She snatches up the gun quickly and begins to take it apart as fast as possible. Each movement is swift and calculated. Before her breath is completed, the gun is in pieces across the sink. All of it organized and placed in some proper order. Quickly, she proceeds to put it back together. The speed increasing with an urgency pressing down on her, begging her to move fast, build quicker. Jane perceives some looming danger surrounding and suffocating her with the gun broken and dormant. As the clip snaps into place, security returns and she looks at herself in the mirror. She isn’t the same person she was in the morning. The shadow covering her face is apropos. Something is missing. Jane wonders absently what her real name might be.

As inspired by this photo by Scott James Prebble to be exact.

I hope it will suffice.